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Three months later, with zero contact in between, he popped up again. And plenty of her clients, she says, have also had ghosts trying to sneak back into their hearts.

” he wrote, then sent a You Tube video for a song we used to joke around to. About a year ago, the website Prime Mind defined the term: “To be zombied is to have someone you care about disappear from your life altogether only to have them bring a relationship back from the dead with an out-of-the-blue text or interaction on social media.” Francesca Hogi, a dating coach in Brooklyn, says zombie-ing is “incredibly common.” She’s had zombies in her own life, long before there was a name for it.

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In my experiences as a marriage and family counselor I’ve seen that most people are blindsided by stage three.

We often project our own illusions, both positive and negative, on to another.

When they don’t live up to our projected image we become dismissive and begin looking elsewhere.

It’s much more difficult to understand and heal the pain and reconnect when we do more texting than talking.

If we are not together we want to hear their voice and know they are reaching out to us now.

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